I enjoy being single. I dislike being single. I love my single life. Why am I still single?
I feel like I am holding a flower in the middle of a meadow plucking the petals.
It’s like every time I finally come to a good understanding of my life and being content with waiting, something happens. This time it was a combination of Facebook and New Year’s Eve.
13 people. 6 couples. 1 single friend… AKA me.
Don’t get me wrong, I had a wonderful time, but it’s events like this, where I am singled out (Ha), it does something to me. That happened, and then I went on Facebook, and I saw like 8 people get into relationships, and that was just the last straw.
How are they finding these people?
I feel like I am in Noah’s Ark without my match just walking around aimlessly.
I don’t mean to whine or complain (again), but it all just makes me angry again. I start questioning God’s plan for me. The yelling and crying prayers begin again. Thoughts come up like,
“God… waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and Disappointing” The classic burn line from A Cinderella Story… Thanks, Hilary Duff.
“What’s wrong with me? What am I doing wrong?”
“How has it been over two years since my last relationship, yet I still can’t even get a new boyfriend?”
“Why hasn’t anyone showed interest in me?”
Which I guess technically isn’t true because guys do show interest in me, just not the right ones. I get the guys who just want to hook up, nothing serious, into sexting, treating me disrespectfully, the freeloaders, and the list goes on.
I also start thinking that maybe if I had been a “good girl” in college, I would be married by now. That somehow this is all my fault. I brought this on myself.
God, seriously. What do you want me to learn from all this? It’s not just patience. There is something else I am supposed to learn from this…. and I don’t know what it is.
1 John 4:16 (NIV)
16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
To The Single Souls 
Embracece yourself and this season in our life. You have a gift, yourself. Enjoy!
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Even if you were a good girl in college that still wouldn’t guarantee you a relationship. I have been single for 5 years and go back and forth with feeling content during this time. We just have to be patient. God knows what he is doing!
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